The Shopping Cycle

This is a hard topic for me to write about. As we all know, the first step to recovery is breaking through denial. So here it goes. Let me open by apologizing to all females who have so religiously followed the Secret Shoppers Code of Conduct. However, I am also a blabber mouth and the truth must come out sometime, so I will do the honors.

As with all addictions, it is the feeling....a sense of euphoria....that is achieved that keeps you coming back for more. Many addicitions correlate to a certain personality type, an unhealthy environment, or a genetic tendency. The shopping addiction, however, is a pandemic. It has struck the entire female population without discrimination. Please correct me if I am wrong. The reason why it has been a taboo topic is because there is currently no remedy, no 12-step-to-recovery or vaccine. It is most certainly an addiction, but it has kept the retail sector alive during this sluggish economy. Sorry, but I am betraying even myself by cracking this code once in for all.

1) When a woman tells her husband that she has absolutely nothing to wear, this does not mean that she will walk out the door naked due to a shortage in clothes. It means that she is having a very strong craving for a shopping fix. Suddenly, all clothes in the closet fall miserably inadequate. The fixation of finding something new renders all clothing in the closet as "out-dated." Her solution is to tell her husband that she needs to buy a new dress.

2) Because the husband took #1 at face value, he helps her to accomplish this goal by finding the first dress on the rack. Little does he know, finding a dress would be a nice outcome, but the goal is to feed the addiction. Confusion settles in even more once his beloved is sifting through jewelry, purses, shoes, and make-up. After 2 hours and 20 minutes, the ornery husband notes that he has not eaten a morsel of food and lunch was somehow skipped in all this madness. To the woman, food is secondary because the feeling of shopping euphoria is being fed and this takes precedence in the Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Reluctantly returning to reality (after all her husband is about to faint) she purchases the last trend in handbags and two pair of earrings. Although the husband feels that absolutely nothing was accomplished, the wife feels much better because she has received her temporary fix.

3) The woman comes home and experiences buyer's remorse. The purse's shade of green looked much different under the flourescent lights. Once she gets home, she realizes it matches nothing in her closet. Logically, she thinks there are two options. (a) return the purse (b) find a dress to match the purse. As her subconscious addiction is taking over, either option will lead her right back to the mall where her shopping cycle can repeat.

Please forgive me ladies...but the truth had to come out sometime. Maybe we can talk it over shopping.